Living With Too Much Opportunity

The reason we struggle financially is that we have too much opportunity. That’s right – too much opportunity. How on Earth is that even possible?

You may feel like you need more money so that you can go on the vacation you have always dreamed of, start saving for retirement, buy a new car, redecorate the house and the list goes on. And that is my very point: because there are so many different ways to spend your money, having a myriad of choices can often feel overwhelming, and as if you do not have enough to make it all possible. 

So, how did we get here? Remember the good old days  back in college, when you had limited funds and were excited just to go out and get a few beers with friends? Now, you have moved on, had several pay raises and you are making more money. You went from only being able to afford the cheapest, most watered-down  beverage to becoming a beer connoisseur. There are more options out there than you ever imagined. Who would have thought? 

 Ok, so maybe beer isn't your thing; perhaps it is travel. In the cash-strapped days of college, you loved road trips with your friends. You would cram into the car, drive to the beach and find the cheapest hotel you could stand. But not now. These days, you take a road trip with your family, and you are looking for the Holiday Inn, or perhaps you skip driving to the local beach and instead head to a beautiful island destination. Again, you start to realize there are always "better" opportunities out there.

As we continue to make more money, we learn to see new opportunities that we never knew existed. But we don’t stop there -- we pursue them. Eventually, we’re introduced to even more opportunities. This is what makes life exciting, fun, and somehow totally overwhelming.

There is always more, but it comes at a cost when we don't add balance and satisfaction into our life. I know very happy and very disillusioned people who have plenty of money to pursue a wide range of opportunities, yet that’s not what makes them happy. Rather, it’s the way they have managed their expectations about what life is really all about.

Use these 5 questions to help you reflect on your feelings about opportunity.

1. What do you remember from the days when you had limited resources? 

2. What makes you feel like you will never have enough money?

3. Do you feel disappointed if you can't purse the newest opportunity?

4. When do you get overwhelmed by the number of directions in which you feel pulled in your life?

5. How satisfied are you immediately after pursuing a new opportunity? Rate this on a scal of 1 to 10 and then examine 5 different new opportunities. Is there a trend? If so this can be guidance for which opportunities to pursue. 

Up to this point, we have just thought about your opportunities. Let's add in your spouse; how many different opportunities do they have? Managing them becomes one of the biggest challenges in marriage, as now there are your opportunities, your partner’s opportunities and opportunities together. Oh, wait, but there is more (sorry, just had to say it): you add kids into the mix, and the number of opportunities now looks like some sort of unsolvable calculus equation. 

Here are three steps intended to help you tame your family’s opportunities and gain a sense of peace again.* 

1. Write the name of each family member down

2. In a second column, have each family member write down all the different opportunities they want to pursue. 

3. Have each member prioritize their opportunities. Each person then picks two to work toward.

*This is not to say there won't be a time for other opportunities; it is just an exercise to set direction for the time being. 

Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.

Ed Coambs

Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook

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The Funnel of Trouble - Stealing Financial Peace

Our thoughts consume us. How we understand the world impacts the decisions we make in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. Yet, when we have a framework for understanding the many factors that influence the way that we make decisions, we can start to set our selves free from the burdens of limiting and inaccurate thinking.

As this relates to our finances, making true progress in the name of our goals is often cumbersome, frustrating and fraught with ambiguous decisions.  Fear further slows down the process. As we contend with our own thoughts, we also contend directly with our spouse’s thought life.

Every couple struggles to varying degrees to communicate about money. This ultimately happens because of what I call the “funnel of trouble.” In the funnel of trouble, there are seven layers in which ideas rapidly and often unknowingly pass through our minds before a financial decision is made. The same is happening for your spouse, and by the time the same idea passes through the respective funnel, you likely come out with very different answers.

Funnel of trouble from eocoambs

Let’s take the idea of financial security, for example, and pass it through the funnel of trouble. Financial security first meets with your understanding of how the world works and what it means to be a global citizen. Next, it reaches the national level. Here, you likely have more distinct ideas about how things work and why things are either going to work out or not work out for financial security (i.e., politicians are ruining everything, the economy is not what it used to be, etc.). 

After that comes the mid-section of the funnel, where financial security is subject to your experience of living in a particular region. Let's say you call the Rust Belt home. Do things look bright or bleak? From your regional perspective, financial security moves into your local community, and now you are getting a real face-to-face familiarity of what’s going on. You live and see activity in your community daily. You drive down the streets with store fronts full of vibrant commerce or littered with “for lease” signs. You know if the city parks are kept up or run down. We have moved from indirect knowledge of what is happening at a global, national, and regional level to a more personal observation at the community level. 

The first four levels of thinking are influenced by people you don’t know intimately. The last three levels, I believe, are the most influential and put lasting effects on your financial thinking: your family, your spouse, and lastly, you. Your family most certainly has beliefs and attitudes about money that will influence you, have influenced you and will have residual influence on whatever financial ideas flow through your funnel. Even closer and more intimate than your family of origin is your spouse. Your spouse has their own funnel that influences the way they make decisions about money and thus directly influences you. Lastly, there is you and all of your life's accumulated experiences that cause you to respond to incoming financial information in a particular way. Ultimately, your responses are a conglomeration of the previous six layers, and what passes out the bottom of the funnel is what you uniquely and distinctly think about financial security, as the example may be.

So, what are you supposed to do with this new-found understanding? Take time to slow down and think about how each level of the funnel is influencing the financial decisions you are making. How do you feel limited by each level? Understanding each of these layers directly affects your spending choices,  whether you realize it or not. 

Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.

Ed Coambs

Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook

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Limited vs. Unlimited Life: Real Financial Implications

Recently, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed, and I came across two very different perspectives that got me thinking about how I see the world. The reality is that we all have what is called worldview - a way in which we order our lives, then make decisions about how to live. Most of the time, our worldview is socially constructed by years of experiences and observations. We take in a variety of messages from many different sources, and they all contribute to the way in which we order our days. 

So, what did I see on Facebook that got me thinking? Take a minute to read these quotes. How do they sit with you? What do you like about them, and what do you disagree with?

"Life is short. Time is fast. No replay. No rewind. So enjoy every moment as it comes." -- Dr. Meg Meeker

“Don’t let anyone convince you to buy things you don’t need. Develop power over purchase and learn to say no.” -- Dave Ramsey

In the context of our financial lives, both quotes have very strong messages. The first tells me that I should spend whatever money I need to so that I can enjoy the moment. Just yesterday, after lunch with a good friend of mine, I stumbled into a kids’ store with my son. I had no intention of buying anything (first mistake right there), yet somehow ended up walking out of the store with $26 worth of toys. Why did I do this? The same reason as any father probably would - ecause of the momentary joy I got from seeing his smiling face with a new dump truck and puzzle. A la the first quote, I was living for the moment. 

The second quote evokes another part of me - the financial planner, the one who wants to master money. It reminds me that I should be saving, not spending. It reinforces the idea that, while I do want to experience joy today, I also want to have the resources to be able to enjoy 30 years from now. Once in the store, I decided I was just going to get a puzzle, but then I saw the huge dump truck with a simple sign that said $15, and I thought, “Wow, what a good deal.” Mind you, my son already has a large dump truck, yet I fell for it. Whoever put that $15 sales tag on the truck convinced me that it was a good deal. 

Here is the reality, and we all know this but often lose sight of it: everyday, we are given hundreds (if not thousands) of buying messages and opportunities. While I am a fan of personal responsibility, we must always realize we are working against a strong head wind when it comes to saying no to impulse purchases. We are not absolved of our responsibility for our decision making, but we also must remember that it is a bit more complex than just saying no.  

Ultimately, reconciling the desire to enjoy today (i.e. spend) with not buying things you don't need is an ongoing process in the development of my own worldview. As we move through life, we are constantly bombarded with messages about what to think, how to think, and when to think it. The challenge for your financial life is to become increasingly aware of your deepest values and to make decisions from that place. We have to live in the mindframe that we are not guaranteed tomorrow, but there is a pretty good chance that it will come. Finding the balance in your life between joy today and joy many years from now is much more of a fine art than an exact science. 

Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.

Ed Coambs

Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook

For all your communication needs, she is all you need.

Grow your marriage by getting all the latest blog posts.

* indicates required

Email Address * First Name Last Name 

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