When I tell people that I am a marriage counselor specializing in working with couples and their finances, I usually get one of two responses. The first consists of diving straight into the details of their financial lives and various events (a specific event or an interesting situation that's happened to them).
The second is a more cautious response. It goes something like, "We are really fortunate. We are on the same page financially." Then there's an explanation of why things are good. As I listen for a bit, I respond and say, "That is wonderful." Then, after receiving acknowledgement, out comes the exception. Recently, I was talking with a doctor who thought my work was really interesting, and he said the oft-heard "well, my wife and I get along well in that department. We are blessed." I said, "Great!" Then came the exception ... "My wife thinks I have too much insurance."
Oh, is that so? Now this was a social setting so I did not get into the details, but this one of many examples that I hear once someone feels safe enough to share with me about their life. The reality is that we all have financial sticking points in our marriages. So the question becomes, are these sticking points driving a wedge into your relationship with your spouse? Is it affecting your ability to enjoy each other's company? Most couples can navigate a few minor disagreements, but stack several together and the stress increases. The reality is that there is often both an emotional cost and a financial cost when it comes to financial differences. In the case of the insurance for this spouse, this can be a common source of tension. If someone is spending $200/month in extra premium for insurance that one party perceives as unnecessary, what does that add up to in a year? $2,400.
Peace of mind just became really expensive for that couple. But the bigger question is why is this insurable risk so important to the person? Because often logic alone will not cause behavioral change.
Without knowing the details, we could assume that it was a disability policy that the doctor has. But the policy might not be technically unnecessary or a number of reasons. The reality is that the doctor's father became disabled at a young age, and that memory lays in the back of his brain about the need for disability insurance. Perhaps this is not a connection that he has made, but it then becomes a clear explanation about the disability. Further, the disability was caused by a motorcycle accident. The doctor does not even own a motorcycle and won't ride one. So does he really need this disability policy? Perhaps not. But hopefully these helps show that insurance policies are often more about meeting an emotional need and not a financial need. Yet, if we remain overly-insured based on objective needs, then we may be cutting off cash flow that could be allocated toward other important goals for the family.
