We live in a
culture influenced by main stream media hype. Unfortunately, often times this
media hype is centered on wealth creation, feeding us with a false sense of what wealth should be like in
today’s society and providing us with a false hope of how we supposedly can obtain unrealistic amounts of overnight
wealth.
Within a society
that worships at the altar of wealth creation, many of us are left with an
unclear definition of what wealth
truly is (or should be). In this same sense, many of us have not taken the time
to consider what wealth means to us (or to our families), nor have we developed
a “system of thought” for our own personal wealth.
As such, two
important questions to consider are: How do you define wealth? And do you have,
or do you follow a particular philosophy of wealth?
I am not here to
make a case for any one particular philosophy of wealth, rather, I would merely
like to challenge you to think about your own “system of thought” related to
wealth, and how these ideas may or may not impact you and your spouse’s or your
family’s finances.
Chances are, no
matter what type of family you grew up in, you likely were influenced to feel
one of three ways about money:
That there was
never enough, that where was just enough, or that there was more than enough.
Depending on your experience, these influences have likely driven you in a
certain direction regarding your creation of personal wealth.
I know that for
many entrepreneurs, who may have grown up in an environment where there was
never enough money, their experiences influenced them to create a “problem
solving” philosophy of wealth. That is,
their system of thought regarding wealth includes ways to make lots of money,
not just for themselves, but for others in need as well. They became
entrepreneurs because they never had enough growing up. Some of these entrepreneurs
are wildly successful and end up having much more money than they ever dreamed
of; however, many of them still are likely (and constantly) driven by the need
to insulate themselves from that underlying feeling of not having enough.
It is difficult to
live life feeling like there will never be enough. The other end of the spectrum
of living with a feeling like there will never be enough is the development of
a basic assumption that they will never be able to make enough money in order
to provide for themselves or their family. For these individuals, this overall
philosophy of wealth usually results in them taking on jobs or a certain lifestyle
in which they cannot possibly support themselves or their families in even the
most basic ways.
For an individual
that grew up in a family where they felt like there was enough money, they
likely internalized a sense of security with money. Not necessarily reliance or
dependence but rather that when needed and important they could go out and get
a job that would pay at a level appropriate to their level and type of
education. This person is aware of the importance of money, but often does not
feel anxious in the absence or abundance of money. Rather they recognize the
balanced role that money plays in life.
I could provide more
examples to draw distinctions between how individuals might react based on
their childhood experiences with money; however, the
reality is this: There is great nuance for every
person regarding their philosophy of wealth. Everyone defines value and
wealth differently. Some define wealth just by the numbers on the balance sheet;
while, others are more comprehensive and include time, family, faith, and
health as parts of their overall wealth picture.
Regardless of
whether or not you have taken on a formal philosophy of wealth, money influences
you and those around you. Without realizing it, you currently, probably
live-out a system of thought related to money which affects you every day, in
every decision you make, based on how you grew up. Just as everyone defines
wealth differently, there is no one common definition of “wealth” to go by. This
is why I challenge you to evaluate your own, or your family’s philosophy of
wealth. Chances are, as you first start out on this journey, you will use other
people's (likely your parent’s or caregiver’s) definitions of wealth until you
can formulate your own.
To get the most
out of this process, it would be best to first spend time working through your
understanding of wealth. Then, you can engage in a conversation with your
spouse or loved ones about their particular definition(s) of wealth. As you
gain clarity, you and your spouse (or those around you) will likely reach a
place where you share a somewhat similar philosophy of wealth. From here, you
will be able to evaluate where you have room to grow, how you can
collaboratively plan your future based on similarities in thought regarding
what wealth is to you and your spouse or family, and where you can hold solid
within your own system of thought regarding wealth creation. Only then will you
be able to start making sound decisions together. Such conversations will be
difficult at first, but if you stick with it over time, you will create shared
meaning and purpose in your marriage and money.
