Friday, March 28, 2014

Are You Living the Good Life and Don't Even Know It?


While cliché, it is so true that we get "wakeup calls" in life that tend to bring everything back into perspective. The wakeup call by its very nature crops up at the most peculiar times and in the most peculiar places. For me, it was when I found out I had melanoma (a form of skin cancer that can be deadly if undetected), or more recently, a Sunday morning when I was sitting in church learning about the deep needs of Haiti. These wakeup calls summoned me to evaluate my own circumstances and ask, “Am I living the good life?” Upon reflection, I realized that, while I do not have everything I want, I do have everything I need. Learning to live in this realization is where deep contentment occurs. Too often, I hear people say that contentment leads to complacency, but what I have found is the opposite. When I am content, I am most motivated to continue to grow.   

So, how do you know if you are living the good life? First, you must take the time to define for yourself what that actually means. The challenge (and temptation) is to base your definition of “the good life” on what others have or are doing, but that’s not necessarily true and authentic to the way that you have been called to live. Sure, the perception of other people's circumstances will always be out there. But you must define for yourself what your good life looks like. What makes sense for you? 

The process of defining the good life will look different for each person. For the highly structured and organized person, it may involve making a list and add definitions. For the visual person, drawing may help them identify the characteristics of their “good life.” Take some time to express in your own unique way what your good life looks like. Release the pressure of coming up with a definition quickly. If it needs to develop over a period of time, allow that to happen. The point is to be true to yourself through the entire process.

Once you have developed your idea of what it means to live the good life, take some time to think about your current situation. Where is there consistency in what you define as the good life and how you are living now? Where can you identify inconsistencies? As you reflect on these questions, consider that if there is 70 - 80% or more of your good life characteristics present in your life now, then you ARE living the good life. If your definition changes, that’s okay. In fact, it’s normal and healthy.

So, take a moment and look up to see that you are already living the good life. It is not “out there” somewhere, It is right under your nose.

Take this exercise one step further and include your spouse in this process. Remember, your definitions do not have to line up perfectly, but hopefully, there is overlap. 

Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.

Ed Coambs


Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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Thursday, March 20, 2014

Yes, We Can Change


How many times have you and your spouse tried to change the way you deal with money? If you are like most couples, the answer is probably too many times to count. Developing healthy money behaviors can be difficult and frustrating. Fortunately, there is hope that change can happen. It comes with understanding that there is a normal process to change. 

The difficult part about adjusting our negative money behaviors is when we start to realize how many aspects of our life will also need to change. When we travel down the road of change, it is as if we have entered a dark tunnel and our headlights will only shine so far, but as we move further into the tunnel, we realize that there is more to discover. I have been on the journey of learning how to manage and live with money for over ten years, and while I feel like I have mastered the fundamentals, there are always new challenges that arise. 

So, what stops us from entering the process of change? It is an intuitive sense that there will be set backs. It is this awareness that stops us from entering this unpredictable yet necessary cycle of change. Yet if we stick with it and remain focused on where we want to end up, then we have a real chance at growth. 

Through years of research, Prochaska and DiClemente have developed a clear model of six distinct phases to guide ongoing behavior change and growth. 

Using this model can help us overcome the frustration of change, and it can also remind us that the process follows a natural cycle. What financial behaviors are holding you back from moving into the next stage of life?
































Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.

Ed Coambs


Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Where Did All The Money Go?


Do you ever wake up at the end of the month and wonder where all the money went? Perhaps this is something you ask your spouse. Many couples are baffled because they honestly believe they do not spend that much. Sure, a little bit goes here and a little bit goes there, but that can’t possibly all add up to the family paycheck - or does it? Getting a grip on how money flows through your life can help you start setting priorities for where and when you want the money to move. 

There are three different types of expenses in life.

Fixed Expenses - Most of us feel like so many of our expenses are fixed, and we could not lower them or reduce them if we wanted to. But the reality is that most of our "fixed" expenses are actually semi-fixed, which I explain below. A fixed expense is the amount of money you need to sustain basic life: putting a roof over your head, food in your belly, and clothes on your back. While it is not desirable to live at the minimum, it does take a basic level of income to sustain life, and depending on where you live in the world, that number varies.

Semi-Fixed Expenses - This is where our socioeconomic level really starts to fool us into thinking that our costs are fixed. Whatever part of town we live in starts to dictate our standard of living. This happens in part because we are social creatures, and while we pride ourselves on individuality, we often end up reflecting the values of the community around us. At whatever socioeconomic level you live, there is an implied minimum standard of living. When you take time to recognize how that standard is at work in your life, then you can start to make decisions about how you want to spend your money. 

For example, when you move into a new neighborhood, you will intuitively be aware of the types of cars people drive, yard maintenance they keep, birthday parties they have for their kids, vacations they take, restaurants where they eat, career choices they make and the list goes on. All of this information informs at a subconscious level the decisions each family makes with their money. (Think of the old adage “keeping up with the Joneses.”) 

Variable Expenses - This category reflects the differences in how each family allocates money toward their semi-fixed expenses. Some families love going out to eat together, while others value private school or want to win Garden of the Month. Ultimately, variable expenses represent the individual choices of families regarding how they want to live out their life. 

As a couple, one of the most important things you can do to help advance your financial life together is to make intentional time for discussing family values. As a family better understands what it really values, they will start to make more intentional decisions about where the money goes.

Here are three questions to ask your spouse to clarify family values.

1. Which semi-fixed expenses do you feel are getting too much of our family’s money (vacations, home upgrades, vehicles, etc.) and why?

2. What is one area of our life that is not getting the financial attention it needs (bills, debt, retirement, etc.)? 

3. When we look back on our lives, what do we want to be able to say we did with our lives?


Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.

Ed Coambs


Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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Thursday, March 6, 2014

3 Reasons Why I Fear Financial Success


Let's face it - our culture is infatuated with success, and not just any ordinary success - wild and crazy financial success. For each person, this may mean something slightly different, but all we have to do is look at the number of television shows that center on large amounts of prize money to be reminded of our preoccupation with cash. I can certainly understand why our culture is obsessed with wealth; we have been taught repeatedly by media and personal observations that we do not have enough stuff. So, we go off to accumulate more money to get more stuff.

What do you and your spouse believe to be true about financial success? Could your beliefs be preventing you from achieving financial success? How do you define financial success? In the process of defining and reaching for financial success, do you ignore other key areas of your life?

While on the surface financial success (i.e., having lots of money) seems like it could be great, here are three reasons why I[RA1]  fear it.

1. I won't be able to manage it. With more money comes more responsibility and more ways to manage it. When you are just starting out, all you need is a simple checking account. But as you progress in life,  you often get different investment accounts set up. If you really start accumulating more money, there are trusts and different tax structures to consider, and for those who have large sums of cash, they start dealing with multiple businesses, properties and philanthropies. Progressing up the wealth ladder does not always make life easier; it can actually make things more complex, because there is more to manage. 

2. Financial success ruins families. The list of actors, singers, athletes, and lottery winners who have ended up with large amounts of money and then had their family fall apart is too long to detail here. But I will mention one that I remember all to well and that is MC Hammer. We have also heard countless stories of trust fund kids who have blown their families’ wealth. Perhaps you have even met a few rich people and have seen how they struggled to maintain a healthy emotional connection while spending their millions (or billions). 

3. It will create a gap in my spiritual life.  How often have we heard that money is the root of all evil? Well, if that was the case, we would all be in trouble! 1 Tim 6:10 actually says, "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." This is one of over 2,000 Biblical verses that address the management of money and resources. What I have come to understand from my faith is the raw pursuit of money will end in meaninglessness, frustration, despair and a separation from God. 

So, what are we to do when we fear the implications of living with financial success in our life? Start with understanding that God owns it all. One example of this comes from Ecclesiastes 5:19: "As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor--this is the gift of God." This is one of many verses that refer to God's ownership. 

The next step is being aware that financial success has not ruined all families. In reality, there are many who quietly live with their wealth and merely see it as a tool to facilitate living and being generous with their time and resources. The reason that we do not know about these families is that they don’t do anything particularly sensational to put themselves in the public eye. As a result, we miss the opportunity to acknowledge that families can live well with wealth, but it is usually because they have built it up over time and learned how to manage it intentionally. This leads me to my next fear. 

While it is true that there is more to manage as you accumulate wealth, there are also skills and relationships that you develop over time as that money comes in. That means the process of managing the money you have, while certainly still a responsibility, often brings in the necessary skills and relationships to do it well. 

The shift in my thinking about financial success centers on significance, which means first recognizing that I don't have to be a millionaire to know that I am richly blessed. More and more, I think less about getting stuff and instead look for opportunities to share my resources and to be a blessing to others.


Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.

Ed Coambs


Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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