We want what we want, and we want it now. It has
been said time and again that patience is a virtue, but who has that virtue? In
reality, many people do, but they are often living quiet and unassuming lives. They
have not garnered great community awareness or media attention, yet they are still
making a difference in the world in which they live.
Great patience and perseverance are often the keys
to building a strong marriage and financial relationship. When couples allow
one good gesture or decision to build onto another, it starts the compounding
effect. A great example of this is setting money aside towards retirement. The
early decision to do so will be challenging and feel like not much is
happening, but it is over years and decades that you will recognize the
difference the concerted effort is making.
So, what stops us from moving forward? Too often, I
think it comes out of fear that there will not be enough
resources at the next step or stage of life, that somehow love and money are
zero-sum items, and that once you consume them, there will be no more. Yet,
when we realize that both love and money are currencies that can be exchanged
over and over again, our fear of running out can melt away.
Moving from impulsivity to patience and
perseverance creates opportunities for our decisions to become intentional and to
build on each other. But when we jump from one method to another without giving
things a chance to work, we miss the opportunities to witness growth[RA1] . This
happens all the time while saving for retirement, we get distracted when we
hear or read about a hot tip and we think we should follow it, but the reality
is having a strong plan that you consistently stick with is going to be far
more valuable than any one hot tip on saving for your retirement. Sure, we would all love every decision
to grow without setbacks, but this is not reality.
None of us is born with all the requirements to
form a great marriage or achieve financial security. Fortunately, though,
experience, learning, mentorship and a host of other factors are great
opportunities for both of these experiences to happen.
So, what is the compounding effect? It is a
realization that early, good decisions often do not show great results, but
continued good decisions show tremendous results.
Let’s take a look at an example of how a great
marriage emerges. It starts long before two people ever meet; in reality, it begins
at conception. During childhood, we are exposed to a wide variety of factors,
many of which are the building blocks that form our future relationships. Once
we reach dating age, we continue in our growth and learning about relationship
dynamics. At some point, one of those dating relationships leads to marriage,
and this is where things start to get really interesting. In a new marriage,
couples start to form the shared understandings that will define their
relationship, and those experiences in the first years set the course for what
life will continue to look like. By ten years into marriage, the couple will
certainly have had some challenges along the way, but if they have remained
committed to growth and support, then their feelings of commitment and love can
grow deeper than they ever imagined. As the years continue to progress, it is
possible that the bond between the couple will continue to grow. After 40 to 50
years of marriage, the couple will have adult children, grandkids, and perhaps
great grandkids who look at their marriage and are amazed by the love they have
for each other. But to get to this place, it took the compounding effect: a “building-upon”
of many experiences together, both good and bad.
The same is true for building financial security
and abundance in your life. No one is born with all the knowledge they need to
create financial security for themselves. They must remain on a continuous
learning path to ensure that they can navigate each stage of life. The skills
needed in your early twenties are not the same as those needed in your forties,
and they are certainly not what are needed in your sixties and beyond.
The challenge for both building a great marriage
and creating financial security is a long-term perspective. It takes an ability
to look out ahead 20, 30, and 40 years and have a vision for where you want your life to end up. While no one can be
a fortune teller and know the future, they can have a view of what they would
like their life to look like.
No matter where you are in your journey of marriage
and money management, there are abundant resources to help you grow. Here are
two books I recommend to help you on your journey.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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