The reason we struggle financially is that we have
too much opportunity. That’s right – too
much opportunity. How on Earth is that even possible?
You may feel like you need more money so that you
can go on the vacation you have always dreamed of, start saving for retirement,
buy a new car, redecorate the house and the list goes on. And that is my very
point: because there are so many different ways to spend your money, having a
myriad of choices can often feel overwhelming, and as if you do not have enough to
make it all possible.
So, how did we get here? Remember the good old days
back in college, when you had
limited funds and were excited just to go out and get a few beers with friends?
Now, you have moved on, had several pay raises and you are making more money.
You went from only being able to afford the cheapest, most watered-down beverage to becoming a beer connoisseur.
There are more options out there than you ever imagined. Who would have
thought?
Ok, so maybe beer isn't your thing; perhaps
it is travel. In the cash-strapped days of college, you loved road trips with
your friends. You would cram into the car, drive to the beach and find the
cheapest hotel you could stand. But not now. These days, you take a road trip
with your family, and you are looking for the Holiday Inn, or perhaps you skip
driving to the local beach and instead head to a beautiful island destination.
Again, you start to realize there are always "better" opportunities
out there.
As we continue to make more money, we learn to see
new opportunities that we never knew existed. But we don’t stop there -- we
pursue them. Eventually, we’re introduced to even more opportunities. This is
what makes life exciting, fun, and somehow totally overwhelming.
There is always more, but it comes at a cost when
we don't add balance and satisfaction into our life. I know very happy and very
disillusioned people who have plenty of money to pursue a wide range of
opportunities, yet that’s not what makes them happy. Rather, it’s the way they
have managed their expectations about what life is really all about.
Use these 5 questions to help you reflect on your
feelings about opportunity.
1. What do you remember from the days when you had
limited resources?
2. What makes you feel like you will never have
enough money?
3. Do you feel disappointed if you can't purse the
newest opportunity?
4. When do you get overwhelmed by the number of
directions in which you feel pulled in your life?
5. How satisfied are you immediately after pursuing
a new opportunity? Rate this on a scal of 1 to 10 and then examine 5 different
new opportunities. Is there a trend? If so this can be guidance for which
opportunities to pursue.
Up to this point, we have just thought about your
opportunities. Let's add in your spouse; how many different opportunities do
they have? Managing them becomes one of the biggest challenges in marriage, as
now there are your opportunities, your partner’s opportunities and
opportunities together. Oh, wait, but there is more (sorry, just had to say it):
you add kids into the mix, and the number of opportunities now looks like some
sort of unsolvable calculus equation.
Here are three steps intended to help you tame your
family’s opportunities and gain a sense of peace again.*
1. Write the name of each family member down
2. In a second column, have each family member
write down all the different opportunities they want to pursue.
3. Have each member prioritize their opportunities.
Each person then picks two to work toward.
*This is
not to say there won't be a time for other opportunities; it is just an
exercise to set direction for the time being.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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