What is “affluence guilt?” It is when you feel
insecure, frustrated, or shameful that you have more financial resources than
another person or group of people. At a global level, we can sometimes feel
this as U.S. citizens. Even if we personally don't think we have that much
money, when we are told that we are the richest nation in the world and look at
what a less affluent country has in comparison, it can induce guilt and shame.
Researcher and shame expert Brenee Brown defines
guilt as coming from what we have done and shame as coming from who we
are.
At the individual level, affluence guilt and shame
comes into play when recognizing that you have more money than your family,
friends and community members. This realization often leads to feelings of
insecurity, frustration or embarrassment. What if you have truly pursued your
passions and have ended up in a position where you are able to earn a great
living and have more than others --is that something to feel guilty or shameful
about? No. There are however five groups of people who are likely to experience
affluence guilt and shame.
1. First-generation professional athletes
2. People who are making substantially more money
than their family (typically those with an advanced college degree)
3. Successful entrepreneurs who end up making more
than they ever imagined
4. People marrying into a high-income/net-worth
family
5. People who receive an unexpected inheritance/windfall
From psychology we know that, when we feel guilt or
shame, we will use a variety of different coping mechanisms to release the
guilt. The challenge is that, while the coping mechanisms often provide short-term
relief, they are not a long-term solution.
So, what impact does affluence guilt and shame have
on the way that you manage your resources and relationships? The most common
and easily recognizable impact is the under-accumulation or rapid spending down of
assets (i.e., net worth impact). For every level of income, there is an
expected ability to manage your resources in a way that will be able to support
your current and future needs. Yet those who feel guilt and shame about making
or having large amounts of money will tend to under-accumulate resources
because they can't imagine themselves as being the person that has sufficient
resources. Having negative connotations attached to affluence causes subconscious
actions to occur and sabotage efforts at appropriately managing resources.
Affluence guilt and shame also impacts the way that
we manage personal relationships. Let’s say that you have a friend who you know
is making much less than you are, and you feel bad that they do not have the
same resources as you. You may find yourself buying things for them that they didn’t
necessarily want because you feel
insecure about your level of affluence. So, you take deliberate and intentional
action to make sure that they are provided for. Unfortunately, all too often,
this reinforces the divide in resources and can lead to resentment and
withdrawal from the relationship.
The
journey of living with affluence takes work. It has its own unique set of
challenges and opportunities. When you take intentional steps towards learning
to live with affluence it can provide both great personal satisfaction and
positive change for the world.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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