During Thanksgiving we reflect on what we are thankful for and we tell other people how much they mean to us. In order to add meaning to this Thanksgiving season be attentive to receiving thankfulness as it will give the giver of thanks a sense of elation that they have been acknowledged for their thankfulness.
Many people are great at helping others, but are to slow to receive help from others. This denies the recipcal relationship of thanksgiving. It takes two people. The giver and the receiver. Be sure this Thanksgiving, to also be a good receiver.
Being a good receiver can look like...
- Acknowledging someone else's thankfulness
- Reflecting back why that person is thankful for you
- Writing a short note back about what it meant to you to be appreciated
How else can you be a good receiver? Please leave a comment and let me know.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more, 980-275-1627.
Regards,
Ed Coambs
Grow your marriage by getting all the latest blog posts.
How many times have you set out a big goal financially, but then failed to complete it? Most of us have done this many times because the goal is to big or there are to many different competing goals and so we get totally overwhelmed and quit. Maybe your goal has sounded something like I will get on a budget, start saving for retirement, pay down some debt, go on a vacation, pay off a car loan, and save some money for my kids college this year. In reality that is to much to get done in a year, unless you have super human powers. However in five years you could be very well on your way to accomplishing many of those goals.
During a recent sermon series at my church called Margin, which addressed creating space in our financial life, my pastor shared this. "We often overestimate what we can get done in a year, and underestimate what we can get done in five years". - Chris Payne, New Charlotte Church.
In light of this simple truth, here is one exercise for gaining perspective on where you can be in five years.
Step 1: Figure out what your one year household income is.
Step 2: Multiple that number by 5.
Step 3: Write that number down.
Step 4: Figure out how much money you need to accomplish your MOST IMPORTANT goal.
Step 5: Now think about how you can use that pot of money to accomplish your most important goal.
Step 6: Take specific and intentional action towards that goal.
If you start now and become intentional about where you want to be in five years, you will soon start to realize that you are making progress towards your goal.
Example Family
Step 1: Household income $50,000
Step 2: Five years of income $250,000
Step 3: $250,000
Step 4: Pay off the car loan of $15,000.
Step 5: Wow, $250,000 is a lot of money, maybe you can figure out a way to pay off the car, and then start saving for the future.
Step 6: Paying off $15,000 is not likely to happen in a year, but could you do it in two years, at $7,500 a year or $625 a month? In all likelihood you are probably already making a car payment of something like $300 a month towards the loan, so you would only need to find another $325 a month. Where to find an extra $325 a month becomes the question to ask your self.
Here is a sample of how to find an extra $325 a month. Decrease your groceries by $100, your clothing by $100, your family entertainment by a $50, and your eating out by $75? The important thing is that you take the time to figure out where you will spend less money to accomplish your goal.
What goal are you currently working on? Please leave a comment.
Do you ever wonder what it takes to manage your personal finances well? This is a question I am constantly asking myself. So I created an acronym to help remind myself of the important aspects of managing finances.
SMART Money Management
Systems - How things get done
Measurement - Progress Made
Application - Getting it done
Results - Knowing what you want
Time - Periods to accomplish results SMART Money Management is a way to remember the 5 key components of managing your personal finances. Each component of SMART is equally important. For those who are married, having SMART conversations can help keep the two of you on the same page. Let's dig a little deeper in to what each component of SMART consists of. Systems - This is how every thing gets done in your financial life. From the simple things like buying groceries, to choosing how to pay for college, vacations, homes and cars. It also includes how you pay your bills and pick investments. The important thing about systems is to recognize that we all have them whether we have taken the time to set them up or not. In order to make better decisions it is important to evaluate your systems, and fine tune the ones that are not supporting your long term goals. Measurement - The only way to know if you have made progress in your financial life, is to have objective measures. In most cases using a net worth statement is the most important tool to measure financial progress. The net worth statement is for your financial health, as your weight is an indicator of your physical health. It does not tell you everything, but it gives you some important clues about how you are doing. Application - Getting it done! If there is no application in money management, then you can not expect to grow, but rather you should know that you will loose financial ground. It is important to actually take action on your plans. Often this means taking many small steps that will lead to significant impact. You can not wait until you have more money to take action, you must take action with what you have. Results - Your desired results should be driving your systems, measurement and application. Results are all about knowing what you want to accomplish. If you do not take the time to decide on what you want, then you will never change what you are doing. Set some goals and start moving towards them. Your desired results will grow and change, but the important thing is to be working towards something. Time - Without setting a period of time in which you want to get your results, you will never move towards the results you desire. When thinking about time, it is important to shoot for short term, intermediate, and long results. *One special note. Don't let fear of failure stop you from defining the results you want and the time that you want to accomplish them in. You will make mistakes, but you will also have plenty of chances to adapt and set new desired results.
I am proud to say
that my wife and I are celebrating seven years of marriage this month. To
commemorate this beautiful occassion, we went to one of our favorite
restaurants in Charlotte, The Fig Tree. It was a lovely evening; there was
a palpable touch of fall in the air as we sat on the restaurant's front porch
to enjoy our dining experience.
One thing was amiss, though: I was not my normal perky, extroverted self.
Rather, I was feeling totally overwhelmed by my many responsibilities in this
season of life. —I won’t sugar-coat it: I really just wasn't any fun to be
around.
The waiter asked us
what brought us in, and we responded, “Our anniversary.” Not a second later,
the couple behind us said, "It is our anniversary as well!" Their joy while celebrating their
anniversary helped me come out of my funk a bit. My wife and I went on to enjoy
our meal and conversation. As this nice couple went to leave, I asked if they
had any advice for marriage (as they were definitely older than us). The
husband, without hesitation, said, "Patience." He went on to explain
that they had been married 38 years, and patience was the biggest thing he had
learned.
Well, friends, I can honestly say that I was grateful for his response. It
reminded me how patient my wife was being with me that night and has been with
me the last several weeks, as I have been trying to get a grip on life.
If you are passing through a difficult time, just passed through a hard time,
or perhaps will pass through a challenging time in the future, remember this
word: patience. It may just help you cope with the season more gracefully.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
For all your communication needs, she is all you need.
I am excited
to announce that I will be attending the American Association of Christian
Counselors conference in Nashville, TN next week (Sept 11 - 14, 2013). I am excited for
three reasons. First, I love to travel. Second, I love to meet new people, and
third and most important of all, I love to learn.
I plan to get new and exciting information to better help YOU achieve your
personal and relational goals. Here is a sample of some of the classes I will
be taking.
1. Catherine Hart Weber, PhD. - Flourish in Life and Relationships: Best
Practices for Thriving in Health and Wellbeing.
2. Robert Emmons, PhD. - Gratitude Works: How Gratitude Heals,
Energizes and Transforms
3. Margaret Nagib,
Psy.D. - How
to Hope Instead of Cope: A New Paradigm for Therapeutic Intervention
4. Donald Harvey, PhD. - Sometimes I Get in the Way: Discovering
Your Therapy Blind Spots
The third
point on the finance triangle is Friends. This one has the most ongoing
influence in our financial life decisions. If you are interested in learning
how family and faith influence your money decisions, please go
back and read my previous two posts.
What do our friends have to do with our finances? Much more than we realize,
believe it nor not. While we are all well aware of "keeping up with the
Jones [family]," do we really know how that idea is influencing us? Stop
and take a minute to make a list of your last 10 major purchases (goods or
services). Now, choose several of your closest friends and list the last 10
major things you remember them
buying. Compare how many items overlap. Having trouble coming up with ideas?
Here are a few: school items or tuition, cars, homes, vacations, birthday
gifts, anniversary gifts, financial planning services, accounting services…
Still can't think of big things? Think about restaurants, gyms, hair
stylists, and favorite stores. If you really want to get bold in your
comparison, put down prices and frequency of purchases. This will really
illuminate how similar your buying decisions are to your friends’.
When I did this exercise, one item that came up was a house. My wife and I
bought a home recently, and it is remarkable how similar in size and price our
home is to that of our friends who recently purchased homes as well. Many times,
using our friends' buying decisions can be a significant help, because they
save us time and energy in researching a great product or service. In other
cases, it can have a profoundly negative impact. For example, if you buy a home
that is beyond your price point, but you do it anyway because you figure if
your friends can make it happen, then surely you can, too.
Why is it important for you to understand how your friends influence your money
decisions? Because once you get it, then you have the power to change your
situation. If you are like most of us, the way you spend money is not fully
congruent with your values. Start making the changes you desire by first
identifying what's holding you back.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
For all your communication needs, she is all you need.
Grow your marriage by getting all the latest blog posts.
Moving around
the financial triangle from Faith to Family, a whole new set of influences come
into play. Have you ever considered how your family implicitly and explicitly
taught you many different lessons about money? Today, I would like to share
with you a couple of ways to think about that question.
1. During Childhood - Did your parents all too happily buy you
whatever you wanted whenever you wanted? If so, why? Was it to please you and
make up for a lack of something they did not have as a child? Or maybe your
parents were experiencing guilt about not spending enough time with you and
tried to cover that guilt with gifts?
Maybe the opposite was the case, and your parents would not buy you anything
you wanted. Why is that? Perhaps they were trying to teach you responsibility
and that relationships are more important than stuff. It could have also been
that they just did not have that kind of disposable income. Whatever the
reason, that surely left you with a certain feeling. Take a moment to reflect
what feelings you experienced.
Understanding what happened with money during your childhood can help you to
better appreciate your money values as an adult. Money values are simply the
beliefs you have about the way money should be used and what it means. Often,
we are unaware of our money values, and that is why we stay in money ruts.
2. Family Money Rules - Every family has a money paradigm, a
way that they think about finances. It influences simple things from when to go
out to eat and what clothes to buy, to the types of vacations you take to
thinking about whether you should save for the future. How did your family
arrive at these money decisions? What priorities did they set with the money
they had? Perhaps there were no priorities and that was the money rule of your house. Now, take some time to
brainstorm your family's money rules. How do they influence the way you
interact with money now? Which of the rules needs to be changed and why?
One of my family money rules that I learned from my dad was to research like
crazy before buying a big-ticket item. I got the impression we didn't have to go
for the cheapest things, but we wanted to find something that was going to
last. While I will admit I don't do loads of research before I make similar
purchases now, I do think about long-term value instead of just getting something
cheap.
I could go on and on about the family money rules, but I think it is best that I stop here and let you chime in on your own family money rules. Which ones have helped you and which ones have hurt you?
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
For all your communication needs, she is all you need.
