We have all seen people who look like naturals at
whatever they are doing. Like many of you, I have spent the last week watching
the Olympics, and I have been so impressed by the abilities of the athletes from
around the globe. It seems like they have always been able to skate with grace
or glide with speed, but once I hear their full back stories, I am reminded of
all the hard work and ongoing training athletes go through to get to that place
of excellence in their sport.
Hearing stories about these Olympians reminds me of
the learning curve that we all must embrace when we enter into and stay in
marriage. Put simply, the learning curve requires tremendous effort to get
started into a new activity. Once we begin, it will take time to develop
and grow to a place where we will feel confident in our ability to maintain
what we have learned. The relationship expert Harville Hendrix said, "The
learning curve in relationships must be embraced." I interpret that to
mean that we are not naturals at every dynamic of married life, particularly
when we first start down that road. So, we must exert significant effort to
grow in order to appear “natural” in our relationships. Each person will bring different
areas of strengths and weaknesses to the table. Recognizing your strengths and
weaknesses, and then doing something about them, will help develop a committed
marriage bond. Over time, with focused hard work, we can all enjoy the fruits
of embracing the learning curve. It is also important to remember that there
will be seasons in your marriage when a new learning curve shows up. Here
are 5 places you can expect that to happen.
- The start of your marriage
- The birth of a child
- The change of a job
- The death of a loved love
- The kids leaving home for college
Fortunately for you, there are also some simple
steps you can take when starting on the learning curve.
1. Recognize that you are entering the learning
curve.
2. Move into the learning curve by identifying what
you need to learn.
3. Expect setbacks and challenges, even after you
reached mastery.
4. Ask for help and get guidance. Those who get to
mastery never do it alone.
5. Practice over and over, and look for immediate
feedback when possible.
So, maybe your marriage is not where you want it to
be, what would be different if you embraced the learning curve?
I recently listened to a great interview of Karen Cheng, who learned to
dance in 100 days, could your marriage be completely different in 100 days?
Check out Karen's interview and dance video for
inspiration.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
For all your communication needs, she is all you need.
Grow your marriage by getting all the latest blog posts.
No comments:
Post a Comment