You are an amazing lawyer, doctor, accountant, business person, radio personality, you name it. Whatever your occupation, let's assume that you see yourself as great at what you do; you’ve achieved fantastic results, been rewarded with bonuses and promotions, and every year, you have more responsibilities and challenges ahead of you. Maybe you’ve thought along the way, “If I just get to this next level, my life will be easier,” but so far, you have not seen that to be the case.
Our work, whether we like it or not, hugely influences the way we see ourselves, as well as many other aspects of our life, including family. Yet I have noticed time and time again instances where the qualities that make us successful at work actually impede our ability to flourish at home. For example I have been training to become a marriage counselor and just last night my wife and I talked about how I have become a better listner which is required for the job, but at the same time I often get frustrated in personal relationships because it feels like no one asks about me. My loving wife made the observation that perhaps it is because I am too busy asking questions and trying to understand everyone else, that I don’t give others the chance to know me.
So, I ask you to examine and define for yourself what it means to achieve results in your career and with your family. To get the ball rolling, here are three simple but profound questions to ask yourself. After answering the following about yourself, ask your spouse to do the same thing for you, then challenge them to answer these questions for themselves as well.
1.
Which
skills and attributes make me great at my job?
2.
Which
of my skills and attributes will help my family flourish?
3.
With
answers to the two previous questions in mind, which skills and attributes do I
need to leave at the office?
The lesson is that there can be overlap in the skills and attributes that are needed for work and home life, but not all will transfer. When we see this clearly, then both our work and home life have a stronger chance of flourishing.
A fun way to clarify the picture of what is good for work and home is to use a Venn diagram. Using a Venn diagram to organize what is best for work and home will clarify where there are differences and where there is overlap in the skills and attributes you bring to your family. Title one circle work, the other home. Fill in the circles with the skills and attributes that support work and home life. Then look for the overlaps and fill them in the middle overlapping part of the circles.
Feel free to give me a call to talk more at 980-275-1627.
Ed Coambs
Edited by Reena Arora of Arora Media, connect on Facebook
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