FOMO with Marriage and Money

A new wonderful term has entered my language that I learned while talking with another friend of mine. The term is FOMO. Have you heard of it? I hadn't either. So what in the world is FOMO? It simply stands for Fear Of Missing Out. As soon as FOMO was stated word for word, I instantly new what my friend was talking about. What a simple way to describe the way that we often feel about many different subjects in our life.

Sadly we all get sucked into the pressure cooker of life and become convinced that if we don't participate in certain things, that we will certainly be missing out. To not have, or not be something in our culture generates loads of fear. When we stop and think about it, our FOMO is often not based in reality, but rather perception.

What do you fear missing out on in your marriage?

What do you fear missing out on with your money?

These two simple questions likely have very deep and personal responses behind them. Don't miss out on the opportunity to reflect on these questions. What do you really fear missing out on? Where have these ideas come from? Don't miss that it could be multiple sources of influence, so don't just stop at one. Rather keep digging to determine why you fear missing out. The next step is to evaluate what causes you to maintain this fear of missing out. Perhaps it is your family, friends, faith, or the media you consume.

The reality is that fear is a powerful motivator, it is said to be the most powerful motivator. Robert Wilson on his Psychology Today article talks about why fear is so powerful. What can we do to combat FOMO's suffocating effects on our life? First let's start out with how it develops. Early in life we learn through experience about fear as a motivator. Have you ever had your parents threaten to take away your desert privileges if you don't eat your vegetables?  For many children these early fear based tactics teach the powerful motivation of FOMO. When used over and over again we become desensitized to the use of fear for motivation.

From parents, to adolescent friends, and all too powerful marketers we learn to fear missing out, not being a part of the "in" crowd. Whoever is in a position of power communicates in subtle and not so subtle ways that others may be missing out. Can you say HGTV. Sure is it entertaining to watch some couple go from renovation disaster, to total makeover. But it gets the gears turning that we might be missing out on renovating our own home.

What about your marriage? Have you ever seen the sandals resort commercial, man after I see one of those, I totally feel like I am missing out on the time of my life with my wife.

Don't take me the wrong way, there is a time and place for both home renovations and vacations with your spouse.  FOMO becomes a problem when we are consumed by it, which then impacts our ability to save for other priorities, or to simply enjoy the company of our spouses.

Overcoming FOMO starts with one question. What is important to me? Then allowing the answer to the question develop over a period of time and reflection. While books, magazines, shows and blogs, may give you loads of ideas, the reality is that your authenticity will show best when it comes from personal reflection. First looking within and to God will help you determine what is most important.